i'm hosting dinner, come hang?
At half past, we gather to indulge in good conversations with good people
Hellooo, I’m finally out of the woodworks. It’s been an intense creation season across work, my music and choreographies, but I’m glad that my 2023 resolution to create more is still going strong.
This piece touches on my other resolution around intentionality; I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the type of environment I choose to put myself in, as well as the people I surround myself with. And this is a pretty exciting piece, I’d believe, because now I’m no longer just writing about something, but actually putting it into action. How exhilarating!
One of the lenses I like to see the world through is Joe Edelman’s design framework of funnels, tubes and spaces. Specifically, I’ve always loved how he describes space:
“In spaces, instead of looking for actions that advance a goal, we follow paths of attention that lead somewhere interesting. In a conversation with friends, you might attend to what you could reveal about yourself. At a jazz jam, you might attend to dynamics contrasts. While dancing, you might explore being slightly off balance. You combine these paths of attention like a painter combines colors, to uncover possibilities.
A good sign something's a space is if you don't want it over quickly.”
- Joe Edelman, Values-Based Data Science and Design
In other words, space is where we get to explore and engage in unbridled expression, and where there lies an element of serendipity and surprise.
And when I read about Chin Ru Foo’s supper clubs in Take Up Space’s ‘Technology of Togetherness’ zine, it felt exactly like that — a space that I have been seeking for a long time now.
“The meal plays the role of the conduit and conductor. The spotlight is focused on facilitating the ‘flow’ between strangers…
The cynics might say ‘Well, it’s free food!’ but the optimist in me sees that a lot of people are hungry for connection. We all want to find meaning. To be ‘held’ in a safe space. To experience the heft and weight of real conversations.”
— Chin Ru Foo, Supper Clubs: Our hunger for connection
Nobody ever really tells you about how difficult it is to find good conversations after you turn 25. Sure, you can reach out to friends to arrange for a FaceTime or for dinner (“sometime next week, or the next month if you’re booked up already?”) but friends get busy, timezones make it difficult to coordinate calls, and sometimes, life just gets in the way.
Inspired by Chin’s idea of supper clubs, I wondered if I could replicate something of the sort in Singapore: a space where you can meet new people outside of your social circle, and share in some good conversations over a nice meal.
Introducing half past: come as you are!
Soo with the support of my new but already dear friend, Michelle (she’s amazing!) who immediately got onboard with this idea, we’ve started a little dinner club that aims to become that space we both yearn for:
A space that allows you to come as you are: Every dinner will sit 12 people in an intimate setting, where our initial dinners will consist of friends and friends of friends. Future dinners will allow for more of that ‘snowball sampling’ to take place — our version of ‘leaving the door open’. I like to think that being in a group of strangers can be rather freeing, where you are not beholden to act in any certain way and are not pressured to posture yourself like you would on a first date or at work meetings. All you have to do is bring yourself to the table.
A space for you to unfold: We adopt Chatham house rules to encourage more unbridled expression — here’s the space for you to share your dreams, aspirations, and hidden inner worlds that you may otherwise feel embarrassed or too shy to share.
A space for collective effervescence: We’re keeping the group size to an intimate 12 so that it remains curated and small enough to build that sense of camaraderie and deep connection within 2 hours of a shared meal.
After speaking length about the kind of vibe we want to create with our dinners, the name, half past, naturally came up.
It felt extremely apt for us in our 20s - 30s: the period which most would describe as being the messiest, most confusing and yet the most exciting times of our lives. This too is the period where we are asking more questions, and figuring out who we are and where we are meant to be. Calling our new thing half past is a reminder to our dinner guests and to ourselves that we don’t know everything — and we won’t know everything — and that’s perfectly alright.
Our first dinner will be taking place 10 days from now, and honestly, we don’t even know if this is going to work.
But hey, here’s to hoping that we’ll be pleasantly surprised.